The Time I Survived Finger Surgery

26 Sep

As I mentioned last week, my precious little finger was busted up by my abusive husband’s cannon arm and I had to undergo surgery on Monday as a result.

Now it’s a hydrocodone party up in here.

I don’t have much to say about the experience except that all of the nasty things you hear about surgery are pretty much completely true. My doc very lovingly prepped me before Monday by professing, with the wave of a hand, “Oh, I just need to stick a few pins in your finger. Takes 10 minutes.”

10 minutes, sir? Then what is this cap & gown for, pray tell? And who said anything about anesthesia?

One minute I’m wheeling through the hospital hallways like an extra on Grey’s Anatomy, and the next minute I’m struggling to emerge from an anesthesia cloud so thick that all I can think to do is ask the young resident doctor if he’s dating anyone special.

There was one silver lining of the day, and no it does not have much to do with the vomiting effects of anesthesia combined with anti-naseau meds (not a winning combination as it turns out.) Since it was my husband’s NFL touchdown pass to me that delivered the finger-breaking blow, he had his nurse cap on nice and snug all day long.

Probably his most treacherous duty, he peddled furiously by bicycle to the local Chick Fil A to obtain my heart’s one true desire: Cookies N Cream Milkshake. Chargrilled Chicken Sandwich. Fruit Cup. Hold the politics, please, because this meal saved my life.

A couple other people made my life easier as well via multiple sentimental text messages, handwritten “Get Well” cards, and perhaps the kicker, flowers from my brother-in-law and his amazing girlfriend.

Embedded somewhere in those flowers is a Celebrity rematch challenge after my broken-fingered Leo performance.

Don’t act like you’re not impressed.

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One Response to “The Time I Survived Finger Surgery”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Menu Monday: Turning into a Turkey « Upbeat Eats - November 5, 2012

    […] pins come out of my maimed finger on Tuesday, and after Friendsgiving this weekend, I’m feeling inspired to pick up a knife […]

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